Friday night. The boys are away at a sleepover. The night is my oyster. I get home from running errands, and Sheldon is asleep on the couch.
My niece informs me that she is heading to our local bar which features a stripper pole… if I wanted to join. She doesn’t strip, don’t worry.
So, I’m sitting on the couch in my “good sweats” with nowhere to go, listening to my playlist titled “sad”. I know. Pathetic. I actually named it “sad”. Right now it’s on “All By Myself” by good ol’ Celine. Don’t worry. I’ve been taking my meds. (I had a little cry on the phone yesterday because I was sick and it had been a long day, and my mom asked the dreaded question that nobody ever wants to hear- “have you been taking your meds?”. Which means, ‘you’re acting crazy and irrational… there must be an explanation for this’. In her defense, I was acting crazy and irrational. There just wasn’t an explanation;)
OOOoooo. Good song now: “I’ll Stand by You” by the Pretenders. Let’s take a moment and sing out loud for a bit. Wave our fake lighters in the air.
Tonight was going to be a night of celebrating. I passed my exam! Woo! I start a brand new career next week! Part ‘woo!’, part ‘oh boy, I think I’m going to throw up’. Tried to rally the troops for some celebratory beverages (and avoid the fear of failure in the back of my mind), but everyone’s socialized out, or sick. Which makes me feel awesome (sarcasm)– I know deep down it’s nothing personal, but the debbie downer in me starts to think, ‘jeepers, maybe I’m not worth it!’. Maybe it’s selfish to want a night out to celebrate me. And the other part of me makes me feel guilty that my kids are at a sleepover while I’m at home doing absolutely nothing, while listening to “sad”. I’ve spent 8 years trying to break into a friendship group that I’m wondering just wasn’t meant for me long term. Do you ever wonder if you are just being “put up with”?
I wish they had speed dating friendship version. Wouldn’t that be sweet?!? Hm. What questions would I ask? Definitely ‘if your personality was a chocolate bar, what would it be?’ Aero- bubbly and sweet? Oh Henry- a little nutty on the inside? Big Turk-disgustingly gross on the inside and out? haha. Big Turk would not make it to the next level with me. Well, my Friday night activity has been decided for me. I am putting together my friendship resume. All who would like may apply;) And I’m dying to hear your answers!!!
1. If you could invite any 5 people to dinner who would it be: Scott Disick, Kim Kardashian, Kate Middleton, Bill Clinton (the smartest man ever), and my grandma Neustaedter. Imagine the conversations we would have!
2. What’s your life theme song: ”Crank it UP” the Young Goulets
3. Which kitchen utensil would you be: a slotted spoon. all the waste goes right through, leaving only the items of worth.ha.
4. What do you like to do on a friday night: I would like to go out laugh and forget about the stress of the week! But I will settle for listening to ‘sad’ on my iPhone.
Ok. I’m in a good mood now. Happy weekend all! Off to bed. Interested to hear your life theme songs. It’s my fave question to ask people… or which celebrities would you choose as your parents.
Maybe next post you will get to hear about my funeral arrangements. I have it all planned out:) Maybe I shouldn’t tell you so that you’re forced to go and find out for yourselves… that way I can guarantee a packed out church;) Just kidding. I won’t put you through listening to my funeral plans…
Hoping you are enjoying your Friday night, listening to your ‘happy’ playlist and are only reading this on Saturday, and that you are all out with your friends while I still struggle to find some;) ! You must admit, my dinner party with my 5 people would kick butt!